29 June 2008

7:29 am
Good morning princess

me: good morning.

7:32 am
Kanina ka pa gising. Was not sure kaya i texted you now.

me: no. nowlag. alarm was for 730.

me: maybe i expected you to miss me more and was disappointed when you obviously didn't. but that's ok. ganun eh. reality check for me.

8:01 am
call you in a bit

me: ok lang. not asking for a discussion. just telling you why am inis. i'll be fine.

me:don't call na. won't be able to talk.

8:19 am
Can i text?

me: ok

9:12 am
couldnot text earlier. Brought jessie to airport. I think whatever i say now regarding yesterday and the dare you won't believe. I said everything yesterday and as far as i am concerned they are all true. i love you. in philstar today, there is article on effect on meralco incomeif DTI petition will be granted by ERC. If I will be chair, there will be great pressure from all sides.

me: she left na?that was a short stop over. i never said i didn't believe you. my issue was with my own expectations which needed tempering. i suppose i needed to take the whole situation in stock din. things mejo progressed faster and further than i thought. re erc,i'm sure you'll find a way to bring things together. ning, chris, ria, myself, and the rest of your staff will fill in the work you need done. don't worry.

10:15 am
What are you doing? Where are you?

me: galleria. pacquiao. but stepped out for a while. walking around. 2 more matches before main fight.

10:17 am
you really going there to watch? who you with?

me: yes. sayang. am with j. but he's at the theater. no reserved seating. we're taking turns walking around. me first.

10:20 am
that's nice. :)

me: ok. i don't know what that means.

10:28 am
Teasing. kahit na am like this, do you still miss me? Care for me?

me: what do you mean khit na ur like this? what's like this?

10:35 am
1 who fell short of your expectations

me: what? why are ou being so drama? it was me who expected too much. that was my issue. you haven't done anything wrong.

me: can you take a call?

[call]

12:04 pm
so you stil love me 1.5?

me: i'll be out of reach for a while. am just really upset. no with you. nothing to do with you. you're one of the more pleasant things in my life. its not you. you can text. but you can't call. will be speaking to sab first.

12:08 pm
Ok. Let me know what happens to pacquiao

me: if won. 9th round knock out. but i didn't get to watch.

12:10 pm
If won? He won?

me: yes

me: are you eating?

12:30 pm
About to in my nanay's house. Why were you not able to watch?

me: that's the reason i'm really upset. i don't want to involve you. what happened is an example of why things are so bad na.

12:46 pm
Do you want to talk about it? Have you eaten?

me: i don't know if you're the right person to talk to. and no. am not hungry.

12:48 pm
Ok. Do you miss me? You don't have to answer

m: can you take a call?

12:53 pm
Tried to call you. Wrong number.

me: you can't call nga eh. i'll call.

12:54 pm
ok

me: you were never panakip butas. which is why i don't run to you when we have problems, or make sumbong when he upsets me. with you,i had a clean slate. i don't want you to think that i want you to fill his shoes. i don't. i need a man with new shoes altogether. hahahah.... and i think hindi din ikaw yun. your shoes are already taken. so what we have, i'm taking day by day. which is why the reassessment of my expectations was timely. the closet traditionalist began to see beyond what was allowed. it was the romantic in me. and with you, it was easy to feel safe and secure. yes sd, i miss you,and i love you. but in the for now kind of way cause thats the only thing allowed.

1:21 pm
I love you more

me: what do you mean more? more than before?

1:37 pm
Than before. Than yesterday.

me: :) makes me lucky and unlucky both at te same time:-(

1:59 pm
Where are you? What ya doing?

me: just got home. looking for something to eat. hay...

me: hahaha... tonypet photo ops with manny

2:54 pm
Can I call you later? Wil text 1st

me: you can call me anytime. am home alone. maids lang

me: will nap first

3:35 pm
Ok.Text me when you get up. I have 2 meetings - 5pm and 8pm

me: ok. will be at my mom's house

me: mongo lang tom right? spaghetti postponed for another time?

4:16 pm
Yes. HOst ang gcc office sa flag tom.

me: ok. and... is there something i should be worried about other than being on time?

4:18 pm
You want to take lead in singing of national anthem?

me: no... i really don't want to take the lead in anything. :) d ako c yen. :) ayoko ng tinitingnan ako ng ganun.

4:18 pm
ok

me: what are you doing? you didn't remind me about i will take care of you. finished na ba?

4:24 pm
Finish na. Wil take a shower lang. Getting ready or 5pm meeting. Call you when on the road

[call]

me: to be fair to j (and to myself, for choosing him), he was a really nice guy. very sweet, thoughtful, carinoso and considerate when we were younger. complete opposite of what he is to me now. but i think ealy parenthood changed him. hmmm... my mistake was thinking the change was temporary and that at some point, he would change back. i just had to say that.

5:21 pm
You would not have loved him if he was not ideal... then

me: yes and i think that for years, i lived with the ideal him, while completely ignoring what he'd become. Lalo na when i thought i'd see glimpses of the old him. Took a long time before i stopped living for what mariel calls "snippets of attention." and that's just the personal relationship aspect. wala pa yun infidelity nya, and the fact that until recently, i literaly paid or everything. till now, getting him to share in the expenes is like pulling teeth. then you happened. and you reminded me how it was to be treated like the princess that i am. its my tragedy that you are also flawed. but not your fault. still, i cannot pin my happiness on you. which is wy the rules between us should change too.

5:35 pm
Change rules between us

me: it has something to do with reassessingmhy expectations. we can talk about it when we have the opportunity to talk nt as gcc-gca. i hope the kapalit of my current misery is your appointment. Gosh. am so bloated from this ovulating that my boobs are literally popping out of my bra.

5:41 pm
Thats good. i would want to see that. Haha. Im eating french fries and having coke 0. sorry, stressed ako

[call from me]

me: last na on the topic of bloatd boobs. in the animal world, when the female ovulates, her body changes, and her smell changes, all to attract a mate. am i attracting you?

5:52 pm
Sobra. And you [know] what happens to the male specie when he gets excited?

me: ew! but seriously, in the animal world, the males strut, vie for attention bhy building the better next, offering the bigger prey,or battlin the competition. which will you do? to convince me you're worthy of my bloated boobs! hahaha!

5:55 pm
I will just be my cutie, carinoso and caring self

me: so which one is that? strutting with ostentatious display of feathers?

5:57 pm
Strutting with no clothes

me: ew!

5:59 pm
Cong ** and **** said matapang ka raw kahit may gunshot

me: what does that mean? nagpasundo nga ako eh.:)

6 pm
Matapang daw kayo ni ****

me: hahahaha...

me: curious. when you leave the house, nasasabika ba where you're going and what time you'll be back? wondering...

[call]: yes. i give an idea of what time i'll get home. when i cannot make it on time, i text to give her an estimate. me: that's nice of you.

9:35 pm
Sorry. No batt. I charge my phone everynight except saturday night. i drain my batt on sunday. I love you very much too

me: ok... i don't know what you're talking about. and draining your batt, who told you to do that?

9:57 pm
Para longer life ang batt. I miss you too

me: who said that? and may i just point out, gthat for someone who spends so mcuh, you're penny pinching on your batter at the expense of your availability to people? namely me? :)

me: I also forgot to point out that a batt cant cost you more than a couple of thousand bucks. but u cant put a price on the time you have w me?!? hahahaha...

10:15 pm
I miss you too

me:so non-responsive! move to strike.

10:16 pm
I love you too. June 19, 2008

me: can you please text me something conversational? :)

10:P18 pm
I promise to charge my phone everyday. Im solooking forward to se you tom.

me: that's better. :) meds? You flipping channels na?

10:25 pm
Tooks meds. Watching rocky channel 51. Ikaw?

me: blogging. new daily habit.

10:29 pm
See, you horoscope agrees with your revelation

me: i told j to clear out. tha needed saying for years... no revelation there. what talking about? :)

10:34 pm
Revelation that you love me

me: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!?! :) :) :)

10:43 pm
What time will you be in office tom

me: will try to be early. maybe 8?

10:47 pm
Ok. Sleep na ko. Night. I love you princess

me: ok. night bert

10:48 pm
:)