sms

6/17/08; 6:16:02 pm
Clear na. I love you. I love talking to you. I love how you tease. I love how you take care of me.

6/17/08; 6:24:01 pm
Ok. Basta, i love you.

6/17/08; 10:16:08 pm
Night love

6/18/08; 10:36:42 pm
I love you princess

6/19/08; 6:33:44 am
I love you

6/21/08; 10:48:13 pm
i love you princess. Night

Me: You know why i asked you to tell me you love me? You texted me you love me three straight days. then you didn't 1 day. you'd tell me, but you didn't text me. today would have been the 2nd day in a row. when i look back at my texts, i want to see consecutive dates. :)

6/22/08; 9:18:49 am
I love you my princess. June 22, 2008

6/22/08; 12:37:21 pm
Ok love

6/23/08; 12:05:43 am
wala talaga akong masabi. Mali na naman ako Kulang na naman ako. I am sorry. I love you


6/23/08 aftertoo much alcohol in the afternoon, i emailed him this:

That hint of irritability you're feeling doesn't have to take over your entire day -- but it might, if you don't get rid of it. How? Exercise, darling, exercise. You'll work out your frustrations and do something special for the person who shares your life -- and the effects of your moods.
You're extremely irritated, and you want to make sure that the opposition knows about it. Fine -- but no ultimatums. Not when a plain old dirty look will do just fine.
that was my horoscope. no kidding.
that was probably the most unproductive conversation we've ever had. how can we possibly discuss anything that way? in a lobby full of people! with 1 in 10 people shaking your hand. i want you to think of all this. me, you, the situation, our families. yes. we can end it. today. why wait till tragedy strikes. or, as you said, we can not get caught. but the second 1 just leaves the same questions unanswered. what am i ba? am i just a distraction to you? if the answer is yes, then say so. at least i know which game were playing and what rules to follow. am i, as i often think of you, the "bakit ngayon ka lang dumating" type? the great could have been? if so, then lets deal with that. yes, its the marilyn v camilla question.
honestly, the thing that weighs most heavily on me is the fact that my marriage has reached this pitiful state because i wasn't the priority. i was always 2nd fiddle to basketball, to barkada, to poker, to kids, to other women. ironically, my escape from the damned thing was you. where my being second fiddle is institutionalized. do you realize how that breaks me?!?
i'm not asking for answers.i'm not asking you to profess your undying love for me. that's just plain stupid and deluded. but i need to know what game to play. what the rules are. that isn't so hard? if i'm a diversion, i'll act like one. if i'm not, then i'll adjust.
you opened the can of worms. and set the issues free. they were fine under that thick rug. yes. i blame you. you shouldn't have asked questions that are taboo. made me ask questions too. questions which aren't allowed. and made me hurt at the answers i got.
the last song playing in the lobby was "hiram" by zsazsa padilla, the ultimate querida song sang by the quintessntial querida. following closely at the heels of "bakit ngayon ka lang." what a cruel karmic joke that was.

his reply, throuh sms:
6/23/08; 6:12:53 pm
I love you princess. June 23, 2008

Me: what does that mean? i mean, i know what it means, but in the context of my kilometric text, what does that mean?

his reply through sms:
6/23/08; 6:26:05 pm
Im professing my undying love

6/23/08; 7:34:48 pm
My "i love you" then is the same as now. Whatever happens, i will always love you.

me: what void did i fill in your life?

his reply, through sms:
6/23/08; 11:1548 pm
1. Real talk, 2. being me when im with you, 3. Being cared for all aspects

my reply: hey! that's my list! no copying! but for me, add 4. being appreciated for who and what i am.

me: you won't get past 1.5 (out of 3) without a 3.5 carats on my finger

his reply, through sms:
6/23/08; 11:28:37 pmn
Granted. Meme na ako ha. Night princess. I love you almost june 24, 08

me: good night bert 1.5 have you done your bi-monthly thing? you said that you would do it once every 2 months. that was 2 months ago. you're about due.

his reply, through sms
1st, thanks for calling me bert 1.5. That meant a lot to me. 2nd, while it is "due", we have not. I dont see it happening soon That was awkward. Haha

6/24/08; 9:39:30 pm
I miss you. I love you

6/24/08; 11:09:06 pm
Padon my kulit. Just want to say this before i sleep - I LOVE YOU PRINCESS

6?24/08; 11:11:23 PM
Isa pa. I love you. June 24, 2008

6/25/08; 4:17:15 pm
I love you my princess. June 25, 2008

6/25/08; 9:21:34 pm
Night. Love you