30 June 08

6:40 am
Morning. Just talked to d***. Gave him 1 more chance. Yes, I'm a pushover. Pero now,may kasulatan na and admonissions

7:01 am
me: hay... wala bang confidentiality?

7:04 am
Will add that. where are you na?

me: Just woke up. grabe my cycle this month. am extra bloated, my discharge is bad, plus i feel like i got run over by a truck, which usually only happens when i have my period na. Not in between!

7:13 am
I miss you

me: :) a little lang. proven na yun. :)

7:21 am
are you excited to see me?

me: ok lang. :) let me get dressed.

12:29 pm
parang di mo ko miss

me: that's your punishment kc umalis ka na't lahat, you didn't tell me where and what your day was like

[call]

me: i'm having lunch with c**** and ***g.

12:53 pm
***g wokeup na?

me: Yes. STOP IT.

1:07 pm
miss mo na ko?

me: ok lang. kwent2han kami 3.

2:43 pm
ok

me: still in hospital?

2:57 pm
Just got home. Where are you? Miss mo ko sobra no?

me: ok lang. i try not to miss people who have little time for me. :) on my way to pick up javi. you staying home?

3:01 pm
i have 3 meetings. kamusta * *******? sorry had to ask

me: will finish from home. coding ako. after javi, jim won't be able t come back for me till after 7 so i had to leave w him na. please don't apologize for asking. ur my ****. u shud ask.

me: and you know what, you don't have to tell me your sched. I'll stop asking

3:09 pm
when i tell you my schedule because i want to not that i have to.

me: Right. and you haven't been doing that.

me: are you cranky?

3:15 pm
sad. i want to see you but i cant cancel my meetings because of urgency

me: not asking you to cancel your meetings. but i will be honest and say that i noticed. and napaisip ako.

3:17 pm
na wala ako time for you?

me: ya. not just being together. you also text less often. and are generally distracted. am not complaining. its not my place to complain. i know you're busy. lots of work, family concerns. but shempre i notice. and i think about it. and i try to deal with it and rationalize.

3:23 pm
where did you have lunch? what did you eat? Thanks pala for mongo

me: had lunch with c**** and ***g. told them about ***. ***g told c****, nawalan na nga ao ng daddy tapos aalis ka pa. so i followed her hint and said, ako naman, pinalayas ko na nga asawa ko, pati ikaw, aalis ka pa. Hahaha! d malaman ni c**** gagawin!:) we ate in chocolate kiss. i had tomato soup, ceasar's salad and pesto foccacia. didn't finish soup, but i finished ***g's rice. why you changing the topic? malaman yun huli kong text. :)

3:28 pm
do you want to have dinner with me tom. - soft shell crabs?

me: cant. have dinner with friends. :-( 7 days in a week and you chose the day i had plans.

3:32 pm
sorry kung wala ako sa timing

me: you know it doesn't help when you do that. :-( guess what, he actually moved stuff out. still lots of stuff left. but two shelves were cleared out. hmmm....

4:16 pm
you will now have more bed space. :)

me: like now. i don't know what it means when you don't text back, or when you don't answer certain texts. again, this is just statement. if you care to explain, thank you. if not, ok lang.

me: am sorry if i'm not much of a comfort to you today. am having a very tough last few days. fought with my mom, kicked out my husband, c**** is leaving, and i really feel like you're losing interest. but again, that's not a complaint. i know who i am and what my place is.

[call]

me: that was not meant to stress u further that you need to step out to call me. but it did, and im sorry. i shouldve known better. lets talk soon. i'll see if i can follow my friends after dinner tomorrow so i can have dinner with you,if your offer still stands.

4:29 pm
early dinner na lang para you can follow. got hurt that you thought i'm losing interest. then again, thats what you feel. i hope you believe me that i'm not losing interest. i love you princess.

me: ok. early dinner.

4:36 pm
ok? malaman yata text ko tapos ok lang? haha

me: your statement could be discussed along with what i want to talk about. connected. just don't know if we'll be ableto talk tomorrow.

4:39 pm
ok. do you love me less now?

me: no. of course not. it doesn't work that way for me. i'm afraid of the opposite. which is why i want to discuss with you.

4:43 pm
so you love me more? cant focus on my meeting. haha

me: ano ka ba? para kang bata. when we talk like this, its hard to imagine you're 12 years older. :) for me, its a natural progression. its never static. i see you more, i talk to you often, i share my life with you. i learn to depend on you and to have expectations. if the world permitted what we have, that would be a good thing. but as it is, all those may just complicate things unless we can be sure we're both on the same page. which is why i want to talk.

4:52 pm
i have a reflection. with you, i can be myself and i can be any age i want - 3, 10, 21, 30, 45. that only means i am at peace and happy with you and that i don't need to preted. that makes me vulnerable.

me: :) i'm attached to the 3, 10, 21, 30 and 45 year old versions. Really wish things were different

me: bert, i have a massive headache and i can't think straight. would it be ok if i turn in draft tomorrow morning? not feeling well right now. i think its stress. i'm sorry. of course, you can go all gcc and be mad. i kinda deserve it. alam ko naman eh. am so jahe nga to be asking 4 yet another extension.

4:56 pm
extension granted. Not that you are like the rest but i would say yes if it was ***g etc. sorry if i'm adding to your stress

me: no. you and my kids are my source of comfort right now. which is why i was sad that you've been a bit busy and couldn't spend time with me.

me: i forgot to say, thanks bert, for the extension.

5:00 pm
thanks lang? walang i love you?

me: don't push it. but nga i didn't deny it eh. :) go back to work please. i want to have a positive impact on you. i don't want to be a distraction. :) but i will tell you this, i miss kissing you. first, short, lippy ones. then, with bites on your lips. then, i'll hold your face, then your neck. then, all wet and slobbery. then, i'll top, with my eyes closed, rest my face on yours, give you a small kiss on your cheek, then hug you.

5:10 pm
i miss that too. will call you later. rest ka muna

me: k

me: bigla kong naisip, you didn't reply what you had for lunch. i asked you.

me: bigla kong naisip, you didn't reply what you had for lunch. i asked you.

me: are you there? if you are, just text, yes, i'm in a meeting. Text you later.

6:23 pm
in a meeting. call you later

me: ok

7:12 pm
are you in marie france?

me: yeah. how did you know? you done with meetings?

7:14 pm
you told me you will go at 7pm. i remember. 1 more meeting

me: ok. done with 2nd meeting?

7:15 pm
yes. same place lang

me: ah. ok.

me: they are still bloated. but not like saturday and sunday.

7:18 pm
i missed that. haha

me: yah. too bad for you

[call from me]

me: that's why i asked you if you were don't with 2nd meeting. didn't you know you were with someone.

7:23 pm
dumating na 3rd

me: ok

[call] pick you up? okay. where are you? near the house. i'll just take a shower. see you.

me: where are you?

[call] crossing edsa

me: i'm just waiting for your call

[call] i'm here. okay. i'll be right out.

me: let's talk about this soon. for now, don't worry. i won't be going anywhere soon. am glad you decided to pass by for me. maski cranky ka. :)

10:22 pm
ok. don't worry about me

me:of course i worry. i don't want to be on your list of worries or concerns. i'd rather be on your happy list.

10:28 pm
you are in my happy list

me: hmmm... right nw, i know i'm on your "bothers-me-so-much-i-have-to-drive-around" list.

10:43 pm
You are in my "i-want-to-make-you-very-happy-and-i-love-you-princess" list. favor. don't doubt na my sincere love for you ha

me: let's talk about it first. you home na?

10:53 pm
jut got it. i wanted to hug you kanina

10:53 pm
Just got in rather. i wanted to hug you kanina

me: why didn't you?

me: she didn't say anything naman...

11:01 pm
she didn't say anything. i stopped myself from being lambng kanina because i felt you didn't want me to. na baka you might think that is all im after. believe me when i say that that is not the case

me: i believe you

11:20 pm
i found you pretty kanina. I know, always naman

me: haha... talga? :)

11:22 pm
and yummy

me: what you thinking?

11:26 pm
Wanted to kiss you all over. again, my fault. haha. i forgot to tell you something

me: what?

11:32 pm
i love you my princess. june 30, 2008. Happy 1 day

me: hahaha!

me: is it that feelting that you count days, not months? hahaha! teasing... :)

11:37 pm
I will sleep na. Night. Tom will be a lot better than today

me: ok. good night, hoh. :)

11:38 pm
mwah