remiss

Dear SD,

today was the first day we were together as you and me, and with only you having issues. my issue having packed his bags and left this afternoon.

i don't want things to be complicated between us. but like i told you earlier, thngs are never static. and as time passes, things between us deepen, and,expectedly, becomemore complicated.

i meant what i said. i've always put in issue that he never prioritized me. that i was never first in line anymore. and that it pains me that with you, being number 2 is the best that i could ever hope for. and that asking for things, making demands, is not allowed.

and i really appreciated that you understood me. how, by telling me you love me, you take on the responsiblity of proving it. you said, "i have been remiss, on the premise that i love you." i am thankful that you really understood what i felt. that when you tell me you love me, you take on the responsiblity and duties that come with a declaration of love. and by admitting that you were remiss, you proved to me that at the very very very least, you intend to be sincere. makes me all in love with you more.

yes. tama ka. more everyday. so much, yes, so much, that i'm willing to be your number two. but i at least need to know that 1) i am your only no. 2; 2) you are commited to me as your no. 2; and 3) i am a perpetual no. 2, so that when things go wrong, you will not bail at the first instance, but instead will work on it, stay with me, as if i were the only 1 you had. i cannot be number two na panandalian.

yes, in the shallow sense, you have been remiss. but in the sense that counts, you're more than i could hope for.