happily married

by email:

Don’t be mad. I’m just saying this because this is how I feel. No judgments, just observations.

I’m sad, in large part, because of what we spoke about this afternoon. You always tell me that you’re so distant from her. Which is why the two ulam plate was possible. But kanina, that wasn’t what I was hearing.

I guess, I’m just struggling with this new observation. That you really are “happily married.” Siguro, I manufactured my own reality so I could live with what I was doing. And today’s conversation exposed that “reality.” Hmmm…

Just dealing. Having a tough time.